Monday, April 14, 2008

Christian Slater Hearts Mellon



(image via thisislondon)

Christian Slater has had a long an storied life for a 38-year old. After busting on the Hollywood scene as a child star, he grew into an adolescent hearthrob by, essentially, stealing Jack Nicholson's act -- accent and all -- in Heathers and, thereafter, for excruciating several years.

Awkward!

Identity regained, Slater next appeared in an iconic mugshot (guns, JFK airpost, plea-agreement). Then, with his characteristic elan, he groped a lady on the Upper East Side, "The actor, now appearing on Broadway in 'The Glass Menagerie,' was collared after the woman flagged down cops to report the groping (she then fingered Slater, who was still in the vicinity, apparently continuing a lengthy pub crawl)." Clearly, the man has no chic (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment).

We won't even entertain the possibility that the Christian Slater-Vancouver strip club story involving the always swellegant Tara Reid and a pre-rehabbed Ben Affleck story might have any .. validity (Averted Gaze). And we'll only mention Slater's "ChickenPoxGate" episode in passing.

Slater, apparently, has, in the intervening years, got his act together (and this time, we presume, it does not involve building a career doing an impression of Jack Nicholson). His stripper-love has been abated. His "English Rose" is past tense, nine stitches notwithstanding. Orange bikini's (see image above), don't you know, are the new black. He's presently lounging, topless, on the beaches of St. Bart's with his shoe millionairess gal pal Tamara Mellon. Insert "melons" jokes here (Warning: NSFW, in a sort of Euro-pagan way).

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