Monday, April 30, 2007

Ray J and Kim Kardashian: Stay Classy!

How did oily LA lawyer Robert Kardashian believe that his daughter's personality would ultimately metastasize considering that he spent the 90s buddying up with a bloody killer? And we have no excuses for something despicable called ... "Ray J"; who apparently has ambitions in hip-hop. Socialitelife had us inadvertently spraying our imported and aged fizzy and then coughing uncontrollably when we read their hysterical lede, "Remember that sad-looking sex tape starring Kim Kardashian and Moesha's brother?" A link later, we were on TMZ reading about the "classy" social maneuverings of Kardashian -- who, we cannot fail to note, is already a bona fide socialite -- and her payoff with "Ray J, " another class act who doesn't need the dough enough to perform biological acts on camera (Averted Gaze). According to TMZ:

"TMZ has learned that Kim Kardashian has dropped her lawsuit against Vivid Entertainment over the release of her sex tape with former BF, R&B artist Ray J ... who has now moved on to Whitney Houston.

"The tape, which Vivid paid a million dollars for, is now a bestseller in adult video stores and online markets. Vivid's co-chairman tells TMZ, 'We are pleased that Kim has dropped her legal action against us, we met with her several times and finally reached a financial arrangement that we both feel is fair.' Sounds like they're bosom buddies now.

"According to Kardashian will receive close to $5 million in the settlement."

Stay classy, Kim and Ray J: Don't ever change. Ahg, the ever growing influence of Paris Hilton on What-it-Means-To-Be-a-Socialite continues ...
What Names -- if Any -- will air on 20/20's Of DC Madam Piece?

ABC did NOT buy the DC Madam's Phone records (We reported it wrong: Apologies). And, apparently, there was no sex involved, just "fantasies." Howard Kurtz excavates the underlying ethical substratum -- Eew -- of the story (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment). From CNN's Reliable Sources (link via FishbowlDC):

"KURTZ: Jeane Palfrey originally talked about selling her list of clients to a tabloid outfit and then obviously, ABC News does not pay for information. Why did she decide to cooperate with you?

"ROSS: We told her that we would take it seriously, that it was a potentially important story. Her point is that she runs an operation that she claims offered no sex. And that she sees it as hypocritical that the government is going after her and the women who worked for her and not the men. The phone lists were in her home when the Federal agents raided it. But they were not interested in apparently the names of the men, only the women who worked for her. So she thinks that it is hypocritical. Secondly, she wants to call some of these men to testify on her behalf. She's turned down a deal, a plea bargain deal from the government and wants to go to trial.

"KURTZ: I should have mentioned at the top she's under indictment and as you say, she apparently plans to go to trial. If a government official pays for this kind of service personally and has nothing to do with his job, is there at least an argument that it's not news worthy and shouldn't be reported?

"ROSS: Well, I think there -- I think it is news worthy that there is this indictment. It's part of a Bush administration effort under the Department of Justice to crack down on prostitution and this is part of it. Tobias in particular, given his role as spearheading the Bush administration effort overseas to crack down on prostitution, seemed to us to be news worthy.

"KURTZ: You are faced with a list of names. You say some of them are fairly prominent people, from not just the government but different walks of life. Is this a dilemma for you as to how far you should push your reporting?

"ROSS: The reporting is -- we want to know all we can know and then the decision has to be made as to what information we'll actually use on the air next week on '20/20' or on 'World News'. We actually hadn't made the decision about Tobias and he didn't ask me whether we're going to name him. I guess he just assumed that.

"KURTZ: As of now, you are planning on reporting the story on Friday on '20/20.'

"ROSS: '20/20' and on other ABC outlets, 'Good Morning America' and 'World News' and on the ABC News blotter."

(CNN's Reliable Sources)
William F. Buckley, Jr: What Is The President Going To Do?

William F. Buckley, Jr, one of the more reasonable Libertarian -Republicans and, we cannot fail to note, the "Grandfather" of the modern Conservative movement, has opposed this Second Persian Gulf War and offered sober commentary on the subject. Now, post-November 2006 and as Democratic fundraising skyrockets (and Republican fundraising falls precipetously) before 2008, Buckley reaches a fever-pitch. It cannot be easy; Buckley has been a friend of the Bush family for years. From NROnline (link via drudgie-poo):

"But beyond affirming executive supremacy in matters of war, what is George Bush going to do? It is simply untrue that we are making decisive progress in Iraq. The indicators rise and fall from day to day, week to week, month to month. In South Vietnam there was an organized enemy. There is clearly organization in the strikes by the terrorists against our forces and against the civil government in Iraq, but whereas in Vietnam we had Hanoi as the operative headquarters of the enemy, we have no equivalent of that in Iraq, and that is a matter of paralyzing importance. All those bombings, explosions, assassinations: we are driven to believe that they are, so to speak, spontaneous.

"When the Romans were challenged by Christianity, Rome fell. The generation of Christians moved by their faith overwhelmed the regimented reserves of the Roman state. It was four years ago that Mr. Cheney first observed that there was a real fear that each fallen terrorist leads to the materialization of another terrorist. What can a 'surge,' of the kind we are now relying upon, do to cope with endemic disease? The parallel even comes to mind of the eventual collapse of Prohibition, because there wasn’t any way the government could neutralize the appetite for alcohol, or the resourcefulness of the freeman in acquiring it.

"General Petraeus is a wonderfully commanding figure. But if the enemy is in the nature of a disease, he cannot win against it."

For The Attention Deficit Generation: "Minisodes"

Just what this Attention Deficit Generation needs (Gore Vidal called it "The United States of Amnesia")! "Minisodes." Forget about spending a stormy evening reading Don Quixote, or even War and Peace or watching Ingmar Bergman's Autumn Sonata. Sony, the company that brings you Playstation, plays perfectly to our shortening attention spans. From paidcontent, observed with tongue in cheek:

"f you ever thought hour-long crime dramas like Charlie’s Angels and Starsky and Hutch contained a little too much filler, you’re in luck: Sony Television is boiling down episodes from those and other 1970s and ‘80s warhorses to three- to five minutes for the forthcoming Minisode Network, which will have an exclusive run on MySpace starting in June. Sony is weighing the proposition of creating a stand-alone website for mini-shows later on, the NYT reports.

"Sony execs hasten to note that the so-called minisodes are not clips or highlights, but intended to function as programs with a full narrative arc, albeit one with only the essentials."

And: the essentials of Charlie's Angels? Farrah Fawcett jiggling down a beach, oscillating wildly, at provocative velocities in pursuit of "the heavy." (paidcontent)
Could Whoopie Replace Rosie?

We thought it was kind of strange that an Oscar winner would want to host a terrestrial radio program in New York City post-Stern, yet that's just what Whoopie Goldberg has gone and done. See, we were laboring under the misguided impression that the Showbiz food-chain began in the muck of Radio, then climbing up the winding staircase of the Music Biz, then Teevee, and, ultimatley, ascending into the celestial heights of "Oscar". But ethnic minorities have over the years busted up the Waspy vertical hierarchy (Think established actress Jlo, continuing to sing; Jamie Foxx on Tour; Salma Hayek exec-producing "Ugly Betty"; Whoopie making boatloads of dough producing "Hollywood Squares").

Could Whoopie's next maneuver leveraging her near 100-percent name recognition and phenomenal Q-Rating be a position on "The View"? Says Don Kaplan in the Post (link via Drudgie-Poo):

"Since last week's announcement when Rosie said she planned to leave the show in June, several names have surfaced as possible replacements.

"Among them are Joan Rivers, Whoopi Goldberg, Kathie Lee Gifford and Connie Chung. Out of all of them, Roseanne seems to be the best fit.

"'It's going to be hard for them to follow Rosie,' says an industry insider. 'Roseanne could be the only one capable of pulling it off.'

"Industry insiders have also suggested Bette Midler and D-lister, Kathy Griffin."

Rosanne seems like the likely replacement, but considering Barbara Walters' childlike fascination with African-American hair, Whoopie might be able to make it a "taching moment" for Barbara, starting with, "Don't ever ask Diana Ross if she's wearing a wig."
Russell Simmons: "(Donald Trump) Is Into Doing Him"

(image via style)

Russell Simmons, who always looks sorely to be in need of a robust multivitamin, fucked up Our Yesterday when he appeared, smugly, in the pages of The Sunday Times Magazine (Averted Gaze). The Corsair promptly dry-heaved our rich, Kenyan-blend coffee as we saw his mug interviewed by Deborah Solomon. Some chestnuts, with a side of Trump thrown in:

"Your book basically advocates for old-fashioned American values — i.e., work hard, don’t give up. The book doesn’t say just work hard. It says meditate. That’s the most important thing in the book. I go to yoga every day. I meditate every morning. Do you meditate?

"I prefer reading in bed. That for me is meditation. No it’s not. It’s noise. It’s the opposite. To be awake is to be fully present, no noise, just you and God. Most of us only have seconds of full consciousness. To live in a state of samadhi — that’s what we’re here for.

"Why did you, a self-proclaimed seeker of spiritual truths, ask Donald Trump, of all people, to write the foreword to the book? I think it’s all God. I say that all day long. The real process is doing you and having a truth that you live up to. Donald is different than a lot of other very rich people. He has a good time. He is always laughing. He’s into doing him."

Nothing says lovin' like Billionaire self lovin we always say. Takes one masturbatory materialist to know another, we suppose. And here we thought that Trump's "short fingers" would be a hindrance, not a help, in "self-love."

'Next,' Nixed; Whither Nic Cage?

Has Oscar-winner Nic Cage finally Jumped the Shark? Has Cage, like Johnny Blaze, sold his Damned Ass to the Devil?

What was once a fine actor -- as opposed to a self-obsessed "Star" -- has descended precipitously into the briny depths of formulaic Hollywood tripe. To wit: "The Ghost Rider (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment)". His latest foray into films that can only be properly construed as helping to pay for California real estate ended with a resounding thud at the box office this weekend, compared to his earlier, more independently spirited works. From Variety:

"Overall B.O. was way off pace from last weekend: The combined total of the top 10 pics plunged roughly $11.5 million.

"The wave of new movies failed to generate much traction with auds.

".. Nicolas Cage, who had luck earlier this year with the superhero vehicle 'Ghost Rider,' couldn't weave his magic once again: His latest pic, 'Next,' about a small-time magician who sees into the future, conjured only $7.2 million in its debut.

"Par pic landed at No. 3."

We'll refrain out of politelness from saying anything particularly citric about the authors use of the word "weave" in combination with Nicolas Cage (Said in a tone of restrained laughter). The "luck" that Cage had with "Ghost Rider" unfortunately didn't extend to the saucer-eyed chumps who naively spent their hard-earned ducets to actually see that baleful stinker of a filmeroo (The Corsair sips, discretely a glass of 1999 Chateau Mageaux Premiere Grand Cru Classe). We shall mourn in silence at the death of the fine young actor turned "Hollywood ho" who used to pick his projects -- Think: "Wild at Heart" -- with the jeweler's eye. (VarietY)
Is Darren Star Profiting Off of Candace Bushnell ... Again?

(image via theage)

Rabid "Sex and the City"-philes all know the cautionary tale of Candace Bushnell, who made a measly $1 million off of her own creation, but later went on to a measure of fame as an icon for upwardly ascending Manhattanites-in-heat as well as a bestselling author of dodgy books that she insists were inspired by Edith Wharton. We, however, are under no such illusions.

Still, we kind of admire the way Bushnell seems always to be engaged in this Grand Narrative, this never-ending existential battle to attain the heights of Page Sixxiesh boldfacedness, and a permanent place in a Cafe Society that probably died with Nan Kempner (Does Candace really want to tend rose gardens in Newport, Rhode Island with the other old Grand Dammes?). There is something Lalique-fragile and rather heartwarming about Bushnell, a decidedly Minor but curious figure who, we cannot fail to note, has been around the block quite a bit.

"According to those intrepid Page Sixxies, Bushnell, who "made only $1 million from 'Sex and the City,' a pittance compared to Star's earnings from the HBO series" is *allegedly* Darren Starr fucks her over again:

"AFTER 13 years of friendship and huge success from their partnership on "Sex and the City," former best buds Darren Star and Candace Bushnell are not speaking, according to insiders.

"Star, the producer of "Sex and the City" as well as '90s hits 'Beverly Hills 90210' and "Melrose Place," was approached by Bushnell in 2005 to turn her novel 'Lipstick Jungle' into another hit television series.

"Sources said Bushnell very much wanted to work with Star on the project for NBC, but her agents couldn't come to an agreement with him. Because Star couldn't come to terms with her over 'Jungle,' he re- created his own version of Bushnell's pilot, 'Cashmere Mafia,' and sold it to ABC. Pilots for both shows could be picked up next month for the networks' fall schedules.

"'Candace was actually living at Darren's house when she was writing the pilot for her show,' said our source. 'Candace called him to say how happy she was that NBC picked up her script, and Darren told her, 'Oh yeah, I have a similar project at ABC.' She was devastated.'"

Oh, it's on; it's on like Gray Poupon! Lay down your purse and I'll hold him for you, Candace! More: "(PageSix)

Saturday, April 28, 2007

The Coachella Wrap-Up

The hipster baby trend continues, unabashed. One would think that this is the first generation of Man who has ever reproduced. First "baby blogs" -- thinly disguised, to be sure, but being all about Mommy-and-Daddy -- now: "Babies at Music Festivals (A Pre-K educational experience?)." Someone, please: Make. Them. Stop. From Itcamefromculturecity:

"I can't get over how many people are here with strollers. And then, I look inside the strollers, and I can't believe these kids are dressed hipper than I am.

"Why didn't my mom and dad think to buy me Chuck Taylor All-Stars when I was 2?

"These kids have good taste, too.

"Take Gemma Walker -- age '4 and seven-eighths' according to her adult companions -- who was dancing her tail off to Jesus and Mary Chain earlier.

"That kid could boogie.

"And she was barefoot." (Itcamefromculturecity)

From Asharpdentomen:

"Jesus and Mary Chain- This was a very successful reunion for them, I think. They sounded just as great as when I first heard them, on a mix tape from my college boyfriend. Sadly, I missed their first song... I was in line for pizza and beer. Scarlett Johansson popped onstage for guest backing vocals on the second-to-last song of their set. You could barely hear her though. Her mike was turned way down low. In her short dress and red high heels, I think she was meant to be seen and not heard."

And from Ohnotheydidn't:

"And not to be outdone with celeb starpower, Interpol drew a VIP cheering section with Paris Hilton and a crew of cronies standing front row (on a rafter so as not to be missed). No celeb duets for this set. Thank god."

From Whitney Pastorek at Popwatch:

"The rumors had been swirling all day: Scarlett Johansson would be singing with the Jesus and Mary Chain. What? ScarJo? Live on stage? Could it be true? Ah yes, PopWatchers, it was, and so she appeared, clad in a fedora and paisley go-go dress (um...) and murmuring backup on 'Just Like Honey,' which the more trivia-oriented among you will recognize as "that one song from Lost in Translation." Now, I know ScarJo is scheduled to release an album someday, but if her performance last night was any indication, it may not be a very energetic one."

More Popwatch on Coachella (Popwatch)

Live Stream (AtTheBlueRoom)
Did the Today Show Essentially "Pay" For Birkhead Interviews?

How much money all told do you suppose that Anna Nicole Smith generated -- for others, no less -- during her all-too-brief life? Those numbers would probably be as astounding as they are saddening. Toss another crisp mil on the pile as Brandon Tartikoff oscillated wildly in his grave. From those intrepid Page Sixxies:

"'THERE'S a good reason why NBC has been getting scoop after scoop in the Anna Nicole Smith soap opera and leaving the other networks in the dust - it has a secret $1 million deal with Larry Birkhead, the biological father of her 7-month-old baby, Page Six has learned.

"An insider tells us the network's parent, NBC Universal, sealed the deal with Birkhead shortly after Anna Nicole's funeral, and that's why it's getting exclusives that end up on the network's 'Today' and 'Access Hollywood' programs and on its Bravo channel.

"A rep for Bravo confirmed to us last night: 'NBC Universal has an exclusive contract with Larry Birkhead and we don't discuss the terms of our deals."

"Our source says the Birkhead deal is almost up, but one more big scoop is in the works. Birkhead and little Dannielynn Hope Marshall Birkhead are flying from the Bahamas to Los Angeles today. "They'll be on board a Bravo-funded plane along with Howard K. Stern and the network is planning some kind of big interview," our insider says.

"NBC-Universal made the deal with Larry right after the funeral. NBC did it through their entertainment division so there wouldn't be any uproar about it coming from news."

But is the "Today Show" a part of the Entertainment division? See, we thought "The Today Show" was part of NBC News, for which it is a bad thing ethically to be paying for "Exclusives," especially on topics as lurid as the Bahamian Baby-daddy mess. So, Is NBC's News division "Benefitting" from the NBC Entertainment payment? Just asking ...
More (Page Six)
Ari Emanuel Hosts Obama Fundraiser

Superagent Ari "Hug it out, Bitch" Emanuel is hosting a fundraiser for Senator Barack Obama. While Ari is clearly "Team Obama," his brother, Rahm "Rahmbo" Emmanuel has been, for years, "Team Hillary." This, of course, causes problems.

Obama owns Chicago. And .. Rahm represents Chicago. That is, what they call in Boston, a "Pisser." As we have said:

"Rahm Emmanuel is in a double bind -- Does he support his hometown Illinois hero for the Presdiency? Or, Does Rahm allow his Illinois flank to go unprotected and tack towards his longtime political patrons, The Clintons of Chattauqua, NY, by way of bucolic Hope, Ark (Exaggerated cough suggesting feiged detachment). Who will former ballet dancer and Democratic Party savior Rahm Emmanuel support?"

Still, Rahm, despite the unpopular stance, has "rib-busting ox strength" in his district after guiding the Democratic Party to victory in the 2006 elections, and should not worry about any internal Chicago-political repercussions. From ABC's TheNote:

"While in Los Angeles on Saturday, Sen. Obama holds two splashy fundraisers. The first is in the early evening at the Brentwood home of super-agent Ari Emanuel. Admission is $2300 per person."

$2300; which is, we cannot fail to note, the max for the Primary.

Friday, April 27, 2007

Is John Edwards Ready For Prime Time?

While we reluctantly concede that it is so early in the 2008 political process that polls are essentially meaningless, we cannot fail to note here and now the astonishing learning curve that John Edwards has seemingly surmounted since his last, disasterous go-round for the Presidency of the United States of America. Three years ago (The Corsair gingerly lights a Macanudo Robust Petite Corona), the one-term Senator was the Vice Presidential nominee, and he was, well, hollow (Said with an air of restrained laughter).

Granted, John Edwards clearly had vast political potential, but he just wasn't up on all the issues a Vice President during wartime should have at the ready -- and it showed, especially in the Vice Presidential debate with Cheney (Who, say what you will about the Vice President, he oozes Gravitas), where Edwards barely survived (And, unforgivably, failed to bring up Cheney's Congressional vote in 1986 against releasing Nelson Mandela).

But this new incarnation of Edwards is ... astonishing. The other Edwards of the 2004 campaign was slick -- too slick -- not Mitt Romney creepy-slick, mind you (No one but Romney has that greasy-slickness) -- but the kind of slick talking "Butter-doesn't-Melt-in-Their-Mouth" kind of Southern ambulance-chasing attorney that attracts the politically naive college girl campaign volunteer and, simultaneously revolt the Middle American voter. Edwards had a maddening habit back then of staying "on message" whenever he encountered a question to which he did not readily know the answer to. And, to put it kindly, the one-term Senator didn't know much about international relations and much of domestic policy. And so, invariably, an Edwards interview on the campaign trail was so much spin (Which didn't endear him to campaign reporters on deadline looking, aimlessly, for fresh and juicy quote). It was virtually impossible to get an uncanned response from Edwards in the run-up to 2004. It was like interviewing Eva Longoria. Whatever you ask Eva Longoria, it will come up to some pre-processed quote about her sex life; Edwards, in 2004, flipped every tough question to one of his Talking points. Very Longwhoriaesque.

Only Edwards was Prettier. And that hurt the former Senator, too. The "Breck Girl" thing stuck. Remember former Senator Phil Gramm's Maxim: Politics is Hollywood for ugly people. In that sweaty arena, Senator John Edwards was a "bohunk" of USDA Prime man-candy (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment). The new Edwards -- owner of the political real estate to the Progressive-Left of Obama and Clinton -- has handled all manner of political crisis Great and Small, from his wife's cancer relapse -- and the ensuing KateiGate -- to that $400 haircut, with elegance and grace. John Edwards is showing -- dare we say it? -- "seasoning." Maturity.

Might Edwards finally be ready for "Prime Time"? Even a cradfty old buzzard like Joe Klein of Time notices, shrewdly:

"'I want this to be a country where everyone has the same chances I had,' John Edwards recently told a large crowd at the Electric Park Ballroom in Waterloo, Iowa. "I want to live in a country where you can go from having nothing to having everything." He paused. 'Not sure I want to live in a country where people pay $400 for haircuts.' There was a bolt of laughter. 'So embarrassing,' Edwards said. 'So embarrassing.'

"... In fact, the tone of the Edwards campaign has been impressive from the start--from the moment, during Christmas week, that he announced his candidacy by helping clean up a devastated neighborhood in New Orleans, without buttons or balloons, without a bombastic prepared text. Also impressive was his first appearance as a candidate on Meet the Press, a show that had totally boggled Edwards in 2004. Tim Russert hammered the candidate repeatedly on his support for the war. "I was wrong," Edwards said plainly, sans baloney. But most impressive has been Edwards' willingness to step out and get specific on some major issues in a way that none of his opponents have.

"... Edwards has weaknesses: his knowledge of foreign policy is limited; nor does he know much about the U.S. military or national defense policy. He recently opposed the U.S.--South Korea trade deal, which would bring significant economic benefits to U.S. companies and consumers. There are probably better ways to get to universal health insurance than his plan. If his bouts of conspicuous consumption continue, voters may find him untrustworthy. For now, though, Edwards is demonstrating two of the qualities I most value in a politician: self-deprecating humor and real courage."

The full article here (Time)
CBS Goes After the Fear Factor

Actually this sounds like one of the boldest ideas programming-wise in a long time. Are we to credit eerie "Master of the Universe" Les Moonves, the Man with the Golden Gut, the Ambassador to Spain, manque? No, this is the brainchild of CBS' Nancy Tellum. For years the networks have been chasing after tried-and-true formulas, producing spinoffs of tired brands (For further reference see: "Joey"), and not stretching. Last season, we had NBC doing Drama-heavy programming. A noble try with decidedly mixed results. Now, CBS is going to go after vampires and the gothic (What better background white noise for this age of neo-Crusade and neo-Empire, no?). This dovetails deliciously into Our Pet Theory that deep into the second term of Republican Administrations, horror movies become largely profitable and ubiquitous affairs on the American cultural landscape (Averted Gaze). The Athenian Empire, before decline, reveled in Tragedy. It is not inconceivable that The American Empire, at it's apex, gives the world at large, culturally, an exquisite rendering of Horror (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment).

Don't ask us for the precise psycho-social reasons or particulars, know only that those Friday the Thirteenth/ Hellraiser slasher pics arose, decaying, from out of the fetid societal repressions at the climax of The Reagan Administration (The Corsair pours himself a glass of the tawny 1945 Chateaux Palmer). What better way to release the tightly wound Imperial Tensions of geopolitical conquest -- other than, of course: Sex -- than Horror? It was, after all, the American Edgar Allen Poe who introduced Horror into the world.

From Variety:

"The network known for its solid, stable schedule is now looking to add another "s"-word to its programming vocabulary: sexy.

"Poised to finish a fifth consecutive season as TV's most-watched net, CBS execs could have easily ordered up more of the meat-and-potatoes crime dramas that put them on top. Instead, they've assembled a development slate filled with the sort of swing-for-the-fences ideas normally associated with a net desperately plotting a comeback.

"There are still plenty of dead bodies in the Eye's future. But this year, the corpses are taking the form of zombies, vampires and demons.

"We went into this development season saying, 'Let's throw out the rulebook'," says CBS Entertainment prexy Nina Tassler. 'We have an incredibly strong schedule. What better time to take risks ... and try some really surprising and unique projects?'"

Why the fuck not? (Variety)

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Cam'ron Moderates Stance on Snitches

As we watched in abject horror on "60 Minutes" last week as Anderson "Dying Apollo" Cooper interviewed the saucer-eyed and seriously media un-savvy rapper, Cam'ron. Was Cam'ron going to give the party line on Snitches-getting-stitches? He did, astonishingly, on "60 Minutes." And we, gawking at the train wreck unfolding in front of Cooper, wondered, aloud: Does this Ignorant Ass even have a manager to restrain his Ghetonic impulses? And then, after a few minutes, we knew: Cam'ron's going to have to do one hell of an apologia later in the week. From TMZ:

"Cam'ron is apologizing for his comments on Sunday's '60 Minutes,' where he told Anderson Cooper that he wouldn't turn in a serial killer if he were living next door to one. Good thing he doesn't host a radio show.

"As part of a story about snitching, Cam'ron said, 'If I knew the serial killer was living next door to me? I wouldn't call and tell anybody on him -- but I'd probably move. But I'm not going to call and be like, 'The serial killer's in 4E.'"

Anderson Cooper, of course, comes from a very, very different background than Cam'ron. The police and law-and-order in general have a whole different patina to Cam'ron than they do to Anderson Cooper, granted.

But take that rhetoric out of the equation and really look at what single digit "snitching" in tough neighborhoods and the valorization of "snitches-gets-stitches" is reduced to naught else but simple shit.
Courtney Holt, EVP Digital Music and Media at MTVN: The Traditional CD Business Will Fall 20 Percent

Courtney William Holt, MTVN's executive vice president of digital music and media, said some interesting things about the state of the music industry today. From Paidcontent:

"There emerged something of a consensus during the 'Social Media meets Music' panel at EconSM, that musicians can’t rely on social networks alone for making money: giving the example of the Arctic Monkeys, Courtney Holt, EVP Digital Music and Media at MTV Networks said that though the Arctic Monkeys already had a deal and leveraged their MySpace page, until MTV played their music - record sales were flat. When MTV stopped playing their music, sales dropped. At the same time, he said that MTV no longer remains the only launchpad - the traditional music business has been disrupted and a combination of both Social Media and TV are necessary for bands. A social network is a platform - your IM, Blog, YouTube - can help create a base. Number of friends on MySpace doesn’t guarantee success. This is the year that traditional CD business will fall by 20 percent, and we’ll have to move to a la carte sales of tracks. Rhapsody’s done a good thing tying up with Comcast."

More of this interesting post by Nikhil Pahwa here: (Paidcontent)
Novak: Powell Was "Appalled" By Gonzales

Robert Novak is our Ebenezer Scrooge; note the vinegary scowl with frothy spittle, the penchant for three-piece suits and -- always -- the Spaniel-like fidelity to an earthly Nirvana of continual capital gains tax cuts (Said with an air of restrained laughter). Say what you will about Novak, he is somewhat fair (As when he does the work of God, caling for a more even-handed Middle East policy), and the soi-dissant "Prince of Darkness" gets great inside scoop 0n Republican Administrations (Some would say he is "used", but why quibble). Our favorite Dickensian villain, Robert Novak writes:

"While the current cliche is that Bush never should have named Gonzales as attorney general in the first place, the consensus in the administration was that he also was at sea in his first post as White House counsel. Colin Powell, Bush's first-term secretary of state, was so appalled by Gonzales that he shunted contact with him off to Deputy Secretary Richard Armitage, who in turn handed him down to lower levels along the State Department chain of command"

That's hurtful. More: (Robert Novak)
Nicole Miller's At 25

Our old pal and former boss Kim Hastreiter, the Godmother of Downtown cool, writes on Papermag's blog today:

"I went to a really fun dinner on Tuesday night in honor of the wonderful woman Nicole Miller's 25th year in the biz. I love Nicole and it was great to sit down with 200 'close friends' (I know it sounds absurd but it was kind of true that these people have all known/knew each other over the past 25 years in our crazy city) who felt the same way. It was at Chinatown (the old Time Cafe) and it turned out to be so fun, because I saw so many old friends there, including my dear friend Paige Powell who flew in from Portland for the evening.

"My table was super cute. I sat next to my old friend Ross Bleckner, the painter, who I adore, and across from the old school chef Kerry Simon, who was a doll (he just opened a new restaurant in Times Square called Spotlight). Lots of other old schoolers were there at our table including the fun Tama Janowitz, who I hadn't seen in ages, the amazing jewelry designer Janis Savit (she is one of the greats), my new BFF Mary Boone (I kid you not -- I've never met her, but she was so nice to me I was suspicious), this cute young scruffy photog named Sam Bassett, and of course my fave person in the world Paige.

"Lots more fun folks were there... Cindy Crawford, Allison Sarofim, Bobby Kennedy, Andre Balasz, Karen Duffy (my neighbor who I adore!), Tony Shafrazi, Sara Wynter, Jay McInerney, Zac Posen, the list goes on."

The full post here (Papermag)
Mark Burnett's Political Reality Show

Need we more Political reality shows? We think not. Isn't "The McLaughlin Group" enough? Week after week, we are treated to political dinner theater of the highest magnitude. As the host and former Jesuit John McLaughlin delivers unto the atmosphere enough gassy overblown rhetoric to merit prohibitive eco-sanctions from the United Nations (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment). Then we cannot fail to note Newsweek's Eleanor Clift's weekly, forlorn screeching matches against the loathesone but always astonishingly well-dressed Tony Blankley, of something called The Washington Times. In the background din, soundtracked by The Glenn Miller Orchestra, Pat Buchanan masterfully embroiders his very own special blend of subtle anti-Semitism interspersed with a dash of pure, unadulterated Mexican hate. How can anyone top that for political reality programming?

Mark Burnett, The Wizard of Id, hairy knuckles dragging, tosses some of his Apex-predatory flop-sweat onto the American landscape, lowering our collective IQ, with his latest lowest common Denominator contribution (The Corsair gamely sips a 1971 Pouilly-Fuissé Louis Jadot). From Paidcontent:

"There’s plenty of MySpace news today. Let’s start with Mark Burnett, the auteur behind the aging reality-TV franchises Survivor and The Apprentice, who is working with the social network to develop 'Independent,' which, as the WSJ puts it, 'pits would-be politicians in a competition for a $1 million prize.' The WSJ notes that this is an attempt to kick-start video on MySpace: 'MySpace has a vast audience of 'friends' who post material about themselves and communicate with each other, but it has lagged YouTube in video content.' Those old enough to remember MTV’s original 'Rock the Vote' campaign may experience deja vu when reading what MySpace CEO Chris DeWolfe told the LAT: 'A lot of people think the younger generation doesn’t care about politics, and we’ve just empirically seen that not to be true.'

"It’s unclear what the TV component of this will be, but let’s not forget that MySpace and Fox TV share the same corporate owner, News Corp."



Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Corsair Classic

Milla Jovovich, Rated PG

It seems odd to think of Milla Jovovich, former child star, as a mommy, but that's exactly what she will soon become (The Corsair pops a bottle of Chateau Mouton Rothschild Pauillac 1993 in celebration). According to Fashionweekdaily:

"Milla Jovovich has a lot to be thankful for in 2007. First the Jovovich-Hawk designer, along with Carmen Hawk, created a collection for Spanish retailer Mango; now comes word that Karl Lagerfeld chose the 31-year-old model-cum-actress to star in his fall/winter handbag and accessories campaign, which was photographed Tuesday. To top it all off, Jovovich and her fiancé, 42-year-old director Paul Anderson, are expecting their first baby. The child is due this fall."

Congrats. (Fashionweekdaily)
Corsair Classic

RZA, Bill Murray, GZA, Jim Jarmusch. Need The Corsair say more?

NewsCorp Retreat to Plan on Digital Future for the Newspaper Empire

The New York Post, for some odd reason isn't making the most of its blogs. One would think that with "page Six," arguably The Fountainhead of the hugely profitable field of online gossip, there would be some synergy -- an ad revenue -- happening at NewsCorp. None yet, though. From Paidcontent:

"News Corp is doing it yearly company retreat again this year at Murdoch’s Californian ranch in Carmel next week, and this time the three-day meeting will plan a survival strategy for his global newspaper empire in the digital age, reports FT. It was possible some executives might be shifted around as a more detailed plan was put in place, the story says. 'All the news divisions will discuss where they are [online], what they are going to do, and where they want to get to,' said a News Corp executive, quoted in a story. 'It is the first such detailed meeting to work out the online future for news.'"


Oprah, Hilfiger to refute Racism Rumor

Oprah's ubiquitousness is sometimes overwhelming (It's Oprah's world, people, we just blog in it). When she is not picking out uniforms for the students in her South African school, Oprah is singlehandedly elevating the publishing industry (And promoting some serious books, while she is at it), holding the broadcast news media's feet to the fire, and sonvening a "Town Meeting" on the state of hip-hop's often distasteful linguistics (The Corsair sips a 1938 Chateau Mouton-Rothschild). So what does Oprah do to unwind? Save Tommy Hilfiger's bacon. From the salmon-colored weekly:

"'There’s a rumor about me being a racist,' Mr. Hilfiger told The Transom on Thursday, April 19, at real-estate developer Josh Guberman’s launch of his new boutique condominium complex on East 84th Street. The rumor in question started many years ago, as an anonymous item circulated on the Internet. It alleged that Mr. Hilfiger, while sitting on Oprah Winfrey’s couch, had confirmed hearsay that he was against Asians and African-Americans wearing his clothes. Ms. Winfrey then, it was said, kicked him off the set.

"But 'I was never on her show!' Mr. Hilfiger said. 'Oprah and I are really good friends. She said, 'You were never on the show; you never said it—I know you’re not that way.’ I said, 'Right!' She said, 'Let’s debunk that rumor.' I said, 'O.K., great.'

"And so Mr. Hilfiger is finally appearing for real on The Oprah Winfrey Show, in a segment scheduled to air on Tuesday, May 1."

Ri-i-ight; next you're going to tell me is that thing about Richard Gere and the gerbil is false? More story here. (Observer)

Fresh new posts, daily, staring May 1, 2007 (The Corsair)

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Kevin Spacey's Facial For the "Spacey Patches"

RadarOnline follows up on the riveting L.A. "story" that Master Thespian Kevin Spacey dropped $345 on "'product' for his jowls, some chi-restoring scented candles, and teas." Hey, it's all goopd with us, Kevin; pamper those "Spacey Pouches" all you wish. Says RadarOnline:

"Kevin Spacey would like you to know he didn't drop $345 on beauty products in the West Village two weeks ago to treat his "Spacey pouches." Rather, he was just doing some shopping for the ladies.

"'I went into a very nice salon and I guess they decided to sell a story that was not true after I left,' Spacey told Radar at an IWC Schaffhausen event in Switzerland. 'I said I was buying a bunch of products for girls in production [of a play Spacey was involved with] and they showed me all this stuff, and I bought a bunch of lotions and stuff. That was that. It was a gift. I was buying, but it wasn't for myself ... Now we have demystified that!'"

Pimpy; now that we cleared that up: What were you doing at that London park at 4:30 A.M? There were so many ironic quotation marks over the word "mugging" in the reports that we never quite got to the bottom -- no pun intended -- of that little fiasco. More (Radaronline)
Boris Yeltsin on "60 Minutes"

Good old Brian Montopoli ran today on the CBS Private Eye Blog one of my 3 favorite "60 Minutes" pieces ever: Leslie Stahl's June 1992 interview with Boris Yeltsin on the tennis court. The Corsair hopes that CBS re-runs this interview on Sunday with some follow-up commentary. From PrivateEye:

"At one point, Yeltsin accuses CBS News of working with Mikhail Gorbachev to doctor a videotape to make him look drunk. Later, he angrily storms away and refuses to answer any more of Stahl's questions."

You actually see Don Hewitt come out from behind the camera and help Stahl negotiate Yeltsin's erratic temper. Also significant is Tatiana Dyajenko, Boris yeltsin's daughter who was accused of governbing Russia in Yeltsin's last years. In 1992, she seemed like a typical doting daughter. Ah, Russian High politics. Never a dull moment. For media geeks like The Corsair, this is 7th Heaven. Thanks, Brian.

(CBS Private Eye)
Picture Pages, Picture Pages ...

Ladies and gentlemen, get the new celebrity Dish: "Kirsten Drunkst", brand insta-noodles -- Just add alcohol and stir (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment). (image via thisislondon)

She aint heavy, she's "Exhausted." . (image via thisislondon)
James Goodale Raises $750,000 For Paris Review

Goodale and Paris Review editor Philip Gourevitch. (image via nysocialdiary)

(image via NySocialDiary)

James Goodale is an interesting New York media figure who, for some reason doesn't get enough credit. His unheralded but noteworthy public television program "The Digital Age" is one of the best -- if not THE best -- look at the changing media landscape. Think: Howard Kurtz does Silicon Valley and Alley, but with less of an emphasis on media ethics and more of a civil libertarian edge.

Aside from toiling thanklessly in the rarified air of public teevee (The smell of old books?), Goodale also was a major player in what we --and he -- like to call "The Caldwell Case (But the squares call Vranzberg v. Hayes)." Now we learn via David Patrick Columbia, our favorite social chronicler, that he is a patron of the indispensible Paris Review. From NYSocialDiary:

"David Halberstam, the writer, died in an automobile accident in California yesterday. I learned this last night at the Paris Review Gala when James Goodale told me that Gay and Nan Talese

"... James Goodale who had put together a Foundation to save George Plimpton’s Paris Review after his passing. Since then, they have built it into a healthy publication. They raised $750,000 last night. A very healthy figure. Writer and Artist hosts included Joan Didion, Frances Fitzgerald, Peter Carey, Jonas Bendiksen, Karl Taro Greenfield, Eliza Griswold, Uzodinma Iweala, Mary Karr, Peter Matthiessen, Meghan O’Rourke, Gilles Peress, Richard Price, Salman Rushdie, James Salter, Gary Shteyngart, Charles Simic. There was also a large contingent of young social New Yorkers – Boykin Curry and Celerie Kemble, David and Shelley Mortimer, Serena Boardman, Marina Rust Connor, Vicky Ward, mixed with the Elaine’s crowd, the bankers and philanthropists, and lots of writers."

Much, much more pics and backstory here:(NYSocialDiary)
Beverly D'Angelo: "It's generous to say (Howard Stern) has even half the comedic talents that Chevy does"

(image via nndb)

We'll give Beverly D'Angelo pimp points for being loyal to a co-star, but we are baffled as to why she would take on Howard Stern, the self-proclaimed "King of All Media," especially as Stern sidekick Artie Lang is about to debut his "Entourage" episode aired on Sunday. D'Angelo, you know, plays "Barbara Miller" on "Entourage," so this has all the makings of a media perfect storm. In Rena Fruchter's new Chevy Chase bio, "I'm Chevy Chase ... and you're not":

"Speaking of the problems over Stern, Beverly D'Angelo said, 'There is something about Chevy's humor that begs people to take jabs at him. It's that 'Oh, so you think you're so smart? Take this1' kind of attitude, and lesser wits throw lines at him that aren't funny, just hurtful, like fastballs aimed at the head or swinging punches way below the belt. As Howard himself lays claim to being a shock jock, it's generous to say he has even half the comedic talents that Chevy does.'"
Tony Soprano versus Phil Leotardo

You could almost feel the tension coiling and unwinding in the undulating waves off the Florida beach as Tony paused, for a moment, on the hotel balcony in the last of the first three episodes of the end of "The Sopranos". There will almost certainly be a brutal war between Phil Leotardo's Brooklyn and Tony Soprano's New Jersey. Leotardo, as he warned in the second episode of this season will "take no shit." From Slate:

"So we have the first concrete sign that The Sopranos is really, truly coming to an end—no more HBO shenanigans allowed (which is to say, no 'Season 6, Part 3;' no Bobby Bacala sitcom). The sign: Tony stops to smell the tomatoes. You recall, of course, Vito Corleone's demise, while trailing his grandson in a tomato patch. Tomatoes + Mafia = Death. (This is Einstein's formula, not mine.) If Terry Winter, who wrote last night's script (and who is responsible for a disproportionate number of the best episodes and who, by the way, I'm hoping joins our dialogue again), wasn't foreshadowing Tony's death, I'll burn my Fila tracksuit.

"This wasn't the only Godfather reference in last night's episode: Doc Santoro, the obnoxious, newly minted Brooklyn boss, gets the Moe Greene special, courtesy of Phil Leotardo, who is solidifying control of his family, in order, it seems, to take final revenge on Tony Soprano for the death of his brother."

Oh, it's on; it's on like Gray Poupon! (Slate)
Marc Cuban: "I Did Work On a Script For a Horror Movie"

Marc Cuban, who clearly aspires to do for The Movie Business what Ayn Rand's overwrought Howard Roark did for Architecture, acquitted himself well on AMC's "Sunday Morning Shootout." His creepy eyes notwithstanding (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment), the largest revelation excavated on the show was that the eclectic billionaire, perhaps taking a page from Chri-stuh-fuh on "The Soprano's," is working on a horror script:

Cuban: "I did work on a horror movie that ... I think we have a chance to get it done. I sent it to a professional for all the rerwrites and everything which means its ten percent mine and ninety percent theirs and all ..

Ubergruber: "That's okay -- That's most of the business like that.

Cuban: "Exactly. Horror film is an interesting genre to write for so that's why I picked it."

Does this film, this cinematic gem in the making, by any chance chronicle the sanguinary spree of a short-fingered vulgarian -- Cuban's billionaire nemesis -- whose tag line is "You're Fired," just before he commits atrocities by way of scalping a young and nubile cast en route to "smoking" and stitching together the perfect toupee?

Monday, April 23, 2007

Corsair Recommends: CNN's "Inside Africa"

It is easy for someone who has never been to Africa to get cynical about The Dark Continent when "The Africa Problem" is reported on with maddening frequency in the most socially irresponsible ways by the Gray Lady and almost everyone else. It is the great dilemna of Liberalism: their heart is in the right place but they have little knowledge of Human Nature. If the well-intentioned but naive "Africa Tragedians" knew that their incessant stories on African nightmare scenarios, each one trumping the last, they would understand that the ultimate effect --generally -- would be a hardening, and not a softening the hearts of their readers.

Africa is unfortunately reported on as a continent of chronic misery and disease and poverty. CNN's "Inside Africa" anchored by Femi Okhe is an outstanding show that balances the Tragedy with the Beauty of Africa. The multitudinous cultures that make up Africa are well-covered, as recently were some of the brightest young independent filmmakers -- in Africa all film is indie -- on the Continent. The run-ups to elections great and small are also covered, with Joseph Koinange -- the best investigative reporter covering Africa. The beautiful and hard-hitting sometime host Isha Sesay -- who used to anchor the show -- sometimes fills in (She presently is an evening anchor on CNN International). Femi Oke is the regular host and managing editor of the show and deserves the credit for making this the most interesting half-hour on Africa in the world. And Charlayne Hunter Gault -- who left PBS's Lehrer News Hour because she hit the glass ceiling -- is, well, Charlayne Hunter Gault, reborn anew as the best reporter on the new South Africa, post-Apartheid.

We highly recommend you TiVo this if you want a brief 30-minute synopsis on the continent weekly.
Yeltsin Dies; felled By The Booze?

Much of Yeltsin's tumultuous life was lived within the intoxicatingly hazy nimbus of distilled spirits. Let's face it, a Yeltsin Vodka fart could clear the Politburo. He was luscious. But Fortuna smiled upon his winsome gin-blossoms. Whether bestriding Russian tanks, fortified with a liter of "Dutch Courage," or staring down the hard-hitting journo Leslie Stahl on "60 Minutes" after a particularly tough round of questioning, he was our Yeltsie. From Time Magazine (May 4, 1991):

"There is an air of semipermanent melodrama to Yeltsin's life and career that his own actions sometimes do little to quell. During a 10-day visit to the U.S. in 1989, Yeltsin marred an otherwise impressive performance with a gauche display of his erratic nature: his speech was badly slurred at a breakfast meeting in Baltimore, the combined result of Jack Daniel's and jet lag. That episode prompted Soviet analysts at the White House to dismiss Yeltsin as a lightweight and to underrate his political skills.

"U.S. officials today say Yeltsin has matured, though they wonder whether he has a serious strategy for building a political opposition to Gorbachev."

Whether he did or not, his timing -- and Luck -- allowed him to ascend to the heights of Russia, starting the next revolutionary phase of the disintegration of the Soviet Empire (Begun, in Perestoika and Glasnost, by Gorbachev). RIP, Yeltsin (And please don't cremate the boozy former Russian President; the resulting explosion could dwarf Chernobyl).
Sanjaya Steals The White House Correspondents Dinner

The general consensus is that in the comedic vacuum of Rich Little's "performance (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment)" the Sanjaya stepped in nicely and filled the cool person's void. Sanjaya, who, at present, can only be properly conmstrued as an A-List jet setter, is a product of this new 24/7 digital age. Funnily, trhough, he exists in a thought bubble that doesn't accord any of his success to howard Stern's brilliantly evil campaign to destroy American Idol -- hereafter referred to as "AI" -- from Marksfriggin, "Howard said that Sanjaya was on Ellen Degeneres' show and on the show he basically says that Howard Stern had nothing to do with him going as far as he did. Howard said he kind of gets why he'd say that. He played the audio clip where Sanjaya talks about all of the haters out there and then Ellen brings up Howard's name. Sanjaya said he was fine with it and didn't think that any of his fans would vote more than twice. Howard said that Sanjaya has to believe that he has fans. He said that if he were Sanjaya he'd probably think the same way even though that wasn't the case."

It's Sanjaya's world now, we just sublet. he was "taking meetings" with Fox studio execs in LA on Friday, and tonight is doing Letterman. In between these events he managed to sandwich being the star of the White House Correspondents afterparties by Bloomberg and Vanity Fair. Says Bill Press in TheHill:

"For Washington, D.C, it’s as close as we ever get to prom night: The White House Correspondents Dinner. I was one of the 3,000 who crowded in the ballroom of the Hilton Towers for this year’s intimate event. And, as always, it was jammed with big names.

"... But here’s what’s really funny: The star of the show … the one person everybody was talking about … the one who signed the most autographs … the big buzz of the night was … none of the above. The star of the show was Sanjaya, a young singer nobody ever heard of until two or three months ago.

"Now, you can draw from that whatever conclusion you want. But I think it says something about the state of American politics when the biggest name at Washington’s biggest dinner is a 17-year-old kid from Seattle who didn’t say a word — and can’t even carry a tune."

How long before a jaded Sanjaya is running around Mustique, bare-assed, with "Mick and Keith," on break from banging nut-brown tanned supermodels? The full story here (Bill press' TheHill Blog).
Further Variations on the Theme of Carla Gugino's Ass

(image via yimg)

Bountiful. Fully-Packed. Sun-ripened. "Crazy Delicious." All of these double-entendred descriptives of an in-season Macintosh Apple would be perfectly acceptable in describing Carla Gugino's junk-in-the-trunk (We'll refrain from the cliche and unsettling "Juicy," which conjures a biological process thoroughly unsexy).

On yesterday's "Entourage," there it was, in all it's glory (And form-fitting black panties), speaking to us. Carla Gugino's exquisite ass spoke to us earlier, a few weeks ago, in the HBO teaser for Entourage's Season 4. That spring day Carla Gugino's Ass seemed to The Corsair, then, serene and triumphant, a reminder that the world was an older and better place than anyone knew, that mankind in its long passion had learned another wisdom than his. It whispered faintly, that July day, in the same lapidary phrase, the same words of hope.

God bless carla Gugino's ass.
Rich Little Bombs

"Budger of history Brake of time You Bomb" -- Gregory Corso, Bomb.

What good is an Empire if it does not have a commensurate Satirist to provide Imperial Burlesque? Athens had Aristophanes; Rome had Juvenal; and we, inheritors of the Ermine Cloak, have ... Rich Fuckin' Little (Said with an air suggesting restrained laughter). Even for C-Span's abysmal weekend programming (Senate Environment and Public Works
Committee Hearings on Manganese modules anyone?), Rich Little's stand-up performance was freakishly suckish on what can only be properly construed, dear reader, as a Cosmic scale. Brobdinangian was his sucky, true believers -- we kid you not. Back in the 1970s, when we -- as a people -- were still rather vague on what "The Funny" actually entailed, Rich Little (And something known as "The Unknown Comic," as well as Freddy Prinze) was a staple of late nights even though he had no goddam business making a living off Comedy. Perhaps everyone was so busy Fucking-on-DiscoDanceFloors (tm), and inquiring "What's your sign," and offering up the rather saucy, "Keep on Truckin'" to notice with the jeweler's eye that the standards of "The Funny" were being defined down.

Even then, when our parents were out at a United Nations function and the babysitter would let us see the Late Show, we wondered, silently, already showing clear signs of a highly evolved sense of Taste: "Why is everyone laughing?" And, "That doesn't even sound like Jimmy Carter (The Corsair casts a look of savage chagrin)."

It was only later, in the rambling woods of our melancholy adolescence (From which, we cannot fail to note, our Savage Good Looks smoulderingly metastasized), that we discovered Holden Caulfield that we realized, with profound sadness, that what passes for the acceptable in bourgois society is quite often mediocre. People will generally laugh at anything if the person next to them is also laughing. It took Rich Little's unmistakably postmodernist piece ("Comedian, Dying") to acutely sharpen our exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment at the arid staleness of Washington society proper. Oh, to see again the theatrical laughter and tears of manufactured mirth as the C-Span camera prowled and panned the stuffed shirts in the audience with camerawork worthy of a perverse Fellini flic. Afterwards, no doubt, a veritable Trimalchio's Feast was enjoyed by the enablers of The Emprie. Says Wonkette, "Mr. Little, the scheduled entertainment for the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, made a last-minute decision to forgo being even vaguely funny. So, wisely and tragically, he died."

We almost would have preferred the dulcet, buttery tones of Sanjaya's "Bessame". Almost.



Saturday, April 21, 2007

Bjork's Earth Intruders

New Bjork:

Picture Pages, Picture Pages ...

What do you get when you cross an irresistable Fertility with an unstoppable case of the Herpes? (image via x17online)

And, like, when they dance together, the collective rattling from inside their chickenheads provides the most AWESOME stereo effect for the DJ to fuck around with ...(image via x17online)

Paris and Kevin animatedly discuss the effects of the Nigerian elections on petroleum prices. (image via x17online)

From Papazao, which is Portuguese for "Big ass," to ParisZzz, which is ... self-explanatory(image via x17online)

Because two chickenheads are better than one. (image via x17online)
Kate Moss: Why?

(image via hecklerspray)

"Blowcane" Kate Moss -- the one who wore the "poom-poom" shorts to her media beheading -- had herself a tasty dish of Die Existentialphilosophie topped off with a side order of Dasein the other day when witnessing her former man-whore perfoming (We had the Ontic appetizer). According to the 3AMGirls:

"KATE Moss was left fuming after her boyfriend Pete Doherty lost the plot at his gig on Thursday night - in front of her four-year-old daughter, Lila Grace

"The wild-eyed Babyshambles frontman, who was sweating profusely, tore down hoardings and hurled speakers into the crowd at Camden's Studio 88.

"Waiting for him in the foyer afterwards, 33-year-old Kate was heard moaning about all the photographers witnessing Pete being in such a mess.

"'He is in such a state, we can't let everyone see him like this. Why is he doing this?

"'Why?' she was overheard telling her friend Sadie Frost, before leaving without him."

Crackrock? Manwhoring? There are any number of provocative vices to the Hermeneutical Question of Why: Pete Doherty, Kate. Tax your mind a bit, dear. (3AMGirls)

Friday, April 20, 2007

Pope Abolishes Limbo; Remains Oddly Mum on The Easter Bunny

(image via wga)

It was only a matter of time, we suppose (The Corsair sips a Chateau Mouton Cadet '38) Fiat Voluntas Tua, and -- Blam! -- The Prada-wearing Pope has abolished the always rather dodgy concept of "Limbo" (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment). 'Cause that's how Il Papa rolls ... From the LosAngelesTimes:

"Limbo has been in limbo for quite some time, but is now on its way to extinction.

"A Vatican committee that spent years examining the medieval concept on Friday published a much-anticipated report, concluding that unbaptized babies who die may go to heaven."

The Gray Lady had an interesting -- and slightly cynical -- article in December, saying, in part, "The church is growing most in poor places like Africa and Asia where infant mortality remains high. While the concerns of the experts reconsidering limbo are more theological, it does not hurt the church's future if an African mother who has lost a baby can receive more hopeful news from her priest in 2005 than, say, an Italian mother did 100 years ago.

"'You look at the proper theology, but if there is more consolation, all the better,' said the Rev. Luis Ladaria, the Spanish Jesuit who is secretary general of the International Theological Commission, the official body working on limbo."