Friday, June 10, 2005

A Little of the Old In and Out

SessaRichard-Johnson

(image via NYSocialDiary)

In: Richard Johnson and Sessa Von Richthofen. The Corsair extends the warmest congratulations to Il Maestro on the occasion of his engagement. According to Fashionweekdaily (link via FishbowlNy):

"The 51-year old editor of the New York Post's daily gossip fest, Page Six, proposed to his girlfriend of a handful of years late Tuesday night, and she happily accepted. But that was not before von Richthofen, who's about 20 years his junior, thought he was joking. According to a friend, the proposal happened around 2am and at first, von Richthofen thought he was pulling her leg. 'Where's the ring then?' she asked satirically, not expecting Johnson to pull out the bauble, which is exactly what he did."

We wish all the happiness in the world to he who has given us so much gossiping pleasure over the years. (Hoists a glass of fizzy) Cheers, Richard.

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Above: "Bitch done set me up." (image via freenet)

Out: Late Night Damage Control. Although The Corsair recognizes that this trend of "late night damage control" is on the upswing and even gaining in momentum, it is as phony a ploy as when Hugh Grant started it all (gently apologizing for receiving "the thwarted beej" from a lady-of-the-night).

It goes something like this: Baby does a bad, bad thing. Baby is on the A-List and needs damage control. Said celebrity then goes on either Leno (Whom we loathe on account of his general creepiness) or Letterman (Whom we generally like on account of his angsty and honest self-doubting New Yorker comedy writer persona) to put a little positive spin on some possibly criminal activity. This we'll call: Defusing the Crisis Mode (tm).

On the surface it would appear to be a win-win situation for the observer. We get to watch the celebrity squirm, the celebrity gains forgiveness and the right to once again part us from $10 the next time their films comes out. Why is this "Out," behavior then, and not decidedly "In"?

Well, for one thing, neither Leno nor Letterman is going to particularly grill the actor on their quite possibly feloniousius "acts," as, say, 60 Minutes might, now will they? Actually, the choice of doing mea culpas on late night television, that collegium of of light banter, as opposed to, say, a hard news magazine show, offers the easiest way out of a bad career situation. Says CNN:

"Crowe appeared on David Letterman's 'Late Show' Wednesday to apologize for throwing a tantrum and telephone at a hotel concierge, and show Americans he's not always such a hothead.
"At the same time, Cruise talked to Jay Leno on 'The Tonight Show' to show fans that he may be crazy-in-love, but not crazy.

"'If there's levity surrounding it, it makes the moment a lot more palatable,' said veteran Hollywood publicist Howard Bragman of fifteenminutes.com. 'If you go on CNN, you're not going to get the laughter.'

We may get a pseudowitty "What were you thinking?" out of the deal, but that's about it.

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(image via thewavemag)

In: The New IFC Center. For those of us who steadfastly believe that Adam Sandler "productions" are the soundtrack against the meting out of eternal punishment in the furnaces of Hades, there is cause for a measure happyjoy in intelligent filmgoers. (The Corsair draws on an Escudo Cubano and immediately afterwards takes a sip of Madeira, to enhance the taste)

IFC's "At The Angelica" (And with it that ultra-hott Oxonian Alison Bales) will soon move to the new IFC Center which used to house The Waverly Greenwich Village. One can never have too many independent film venues in ones city (The Corsair sniffs haughtily). According to Indiewire:

"Miranda July's 'Me and You,' fresh from its Festival de Cannes honors, will move into the 220-seat theater on the street level of the complex. In the two other theaters, a 110-seat venue and a smaller 70-seat site built above the new bar/restaurant in an adjoining building, Vanco will present a mix of new and classic programming.

"First-run films from leading specialty companies are on tap, as well as movies curated by (VP and General Manager of IFC Center John) Vanco and guest programmers. The main theater will house specialized releases, while the second screen will host the calendar programming booked in two-week runs, with the third theater for holdovers and special programming. Prior to screenings, short films will be offered instead of commercials, and a late-night midnight program is planned, not to mention morning screenings on weekends. In the Center's edit suites, Vanco plans to create pre-show entertainment to promote IFC Center programming. Clips and video can also be streamed to the many monitors on the walls of the high-tech new lobby.

"Originally the site of a church back in 1831, the location later housed a stained glass factory and even a vaudeville theater before the Waverly Theater opened. The cinema was eventually split into two theaters in the 1980s, before it was shut down a few years ago. With a massive renovation reportedly costing $8 million, architects and designers have opened up the rafters of the first theater, creating a venue that boasts plenty of legroom and comfy seats imported from France. A small permanent stage below the screen will welcome a performance by Miranda July the night before the Center opens to the public next week. The upstairs theaters are equally roomy. All three venues can screen 35mm film and HD digital video."

We're so there. IFC Center Grand Opening pics here.

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Above: A face that only a mother could suckerpunch. (image via TheCobrasnake)

Out: Hipster Photoblogs. Myblogispoop gives the definitive guide on how to appear on a hipster photoblog like TheCobrasnake, all ironic-like, topless and, to be sure, "Biblically haired":

"Don't look directly at the camera, look off to the side as if to indicate that something really cool is happening. But please, don't be excited that something cool is happening.-- If you MUST look at the camera, be sure to make a pouty/kissy face. And don't try to be ironic, it won't translate.

"-- Anybody can kiss a member of the opposite sex, only cool people can pull of same sex kisses.
Caution: Ladies, don't look like you're into it, otherwise you might end up on Collegehumor instead ... and you don't want that."

So perfect. More.

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Above: An industrious little freak captures "molecules" that have been in "contact" with "Brangelina," with intent to sell. (Averted Gaze) (image via eBay)

In: Celebrity Air. What a clever little hustle this freak-of-the-week has going on. The genre of celebrity "knicknacks" has some marginal chic about it. Last year some stupid ass actually sold Geri Halliwell's dog's feces on eBay UK. (Averted Gaze) Charmed, I'm sure. And then purported to sell Britney's panties, of which the less that is said the better. Now, we reach this genre's teleological Omega point, and the gang at WorldofwonderReport introduces for is the strangest eBay item ever:

"We seldom laugh out loud (that's long for LOL, you geeks), but we did at this eBay item. Screenwriter-comic-blogger-private investigator Joe Wilson was at the June 7 Westwood premiere of the Pitt-Jolie starrer, Mr & Mrs Smith, and he captured the 'celebrity air' in a mason jar."

Don't laugh, yo, the bidding on eBay is up to $1,025 as The Corsair types this in.










3 comments:

Gabs said...

the freak catches celeb "molecules"?? wtf? i just don't know what to say on that one.

The Corsair said...

me neither. damn, they removed the "molecules" from eBay.

Anonymous said...

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=5592056365

It's back up on eBay and it's been in Star Magazine, People Magazine and on the Tonight Show.