Monday, January 03, 2005

A Little of the Old In and Out

In: Bobby and Whitney. A family that punches together, lunches together. And you know Bobby likes his fish, which is his favorite ... uh, dish. According to The Dish:

"Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston made Sean 'P. Diddy' Combs' birthday surprise for girlfriend Kim Porter extra special when they took turns serenading the model.

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(image via the freaks at EnigmaticMusings)

"Brown sang along to his hit 'Don't Be Cruel,' while 34-year-old Porter's idol Houston crooned 'Happy Birthday' to the dazed birthday girl at Diddy's club Justin's in Atlanta, Ga., on December 15."

Which must have been confusing to all involved -- Whitney sober, performing; someone else ... "dazed."

Out: Paris Hilton, Nice to Nuts. Who knew? She fairly radiates emotional stability, no? No -- The Corsair softly chuckles to himself -- so very no. According to that significant cultural artifact, Star:

"Paris' ordeal occurred on Dec. 15, shortly after she and pals entered Swing News on Sunset Boulevard in L.A. around 3:30 p.m. to buy celebrity magazines, according to the clerk on duty.

"'She appeared to be in a good mood and even posed for a picture with me for my celeb scrapbook,' the clerk said. 'But as she was setting some magazines down by the cash register, she saw that we were selling her DVD in our adult magazine section. She went from nice to nuts instantly.'

"Paris, 23, was reportedly concerned some of her 'young fans' who shop at the store might see it and get the wrong impression of her. And she added that she felt betrayed that the store would be selling the DVD even though she shops there 'all of the time.'

"Although the clerk tried to appease Paris by placing the DVD in a cubbyhole, Paris saw the poster for the X-rated movie on the side of an ATM in the shop and began shredding it.

"Her sympathetic friends tried to help by grabbing another Hilton poster, but had to give up as it was chained to the ceiling. As Paris paid for her magazines, she 'reached across the desk and snatched the DVD out of its hiding place,' the clerk said. 'She stuffed it into her purse and declared, I'm taking this and I'm not paying for it.' The clerk said he called the police and filed a victim's report for theft and vandalism.

"If the reminder of her past mistakes was not enough, six days later on Dec. 21, Paris was again subjected to embarrassment. As she signed autographs outside trendy restaurant Koi in L.A., one fan surprised her by asking her to sign what appeared to be a slightly risque picture of herself. With the smile quickly disappearing from her face, Paris tore the photo and got into her car."

In: Independent Film. The holidays were good for the indies, for films where moral issues are cast in ambiguous greys, not black and white; where the subjects are complicated, not one-dimensional hookers with a heart of gold, or stereotype cripples; and the endings don't involve car chases where the good guy gets the straight girl-- fuck that shit, give it to us indiestyle--- According to indieWire:

"Terry George's acclaimed 'Hotel Rwanda' opened on seven screens over the holiday weekend, placing first on the chart. The true-story United Artists release set during the tragic genocide in the central African country of the same name grossed $100,091 for a very solid $14,299 per screen average.

"Nicole Kassell's 'The Woodsman' debuted at six sites, taking in $53,985. The multi-Spirit Awards nominated feature averaged $8,998, placing second on the chart.

"'I'm pretty happy with it and the reviews were pretty good,' commented Newmarket Films chief Bob Berney to indieWIRE yesterday about the film's opening weekend. 'Monday had 50% of Sunday's [gross], which is good. It's tricky opening on the holidays.' Berney continued to say that Sunday was particularly strong in Manhattan, while the numbers were generally 'soft' on Christmas day. 'Holiday movies were strong on Christmas day,' said Berney.

"The film's theme is challenging, as Berney acknowledged, but he said that positive reviews particularly from the Los Angeles Times, NPR and others helped to attract moviegoers. 'It's one of those films where you have to hear it's great,' added Berney who also said he felt the overall specialty box office, aside from 'Sideways,' remained flat for the weekend. Audiences seeing 'The Woodsman' weighted toward the traditional art-house crowd and African-Americans.

"Newmarket plans to add screens in the Bay Area today, and will open the film in ten cities on January 7."

We're not sure, we're still suffering acute cognitive vertigo from all those keg stands on New Years Eve, we may have got it twisted, but did the prexy of Newmarket Films just say that African-Americans and art house crowds prefer films about the humanity of child molesters? Cause that's so wrong.

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Out: Kelly Ripa: Too Thin? Can you ever be too thin or too rich, darling? Evidently so. You know our thoughts on this culture which puts waay too much pressure on women's weight, think: Alicia Silverstone (would a bloated James Gandolfini, or, quite frankly, all the male lead gangsters on The Soprano's ever have to do a show called "Fat Actor" to rev up their careers?). According to The National Enquirer:

"Kelly Ripa shocked observers during a holiday getaway with her new stick-thin, bony body!

"And insiders fear she's gone overboard with her weight loss after going through three pregnancies in seven years and battling to save her marriage."

Also on the anorexia tip, or *alleged* anorexia tip (do men ever get anorexia?), the 3AM Girls call Renee Zellwegger "Bridget Bones," which cannot be good (didn't they just blast her for gaining too much weight a la Silverstone?); and a Gawker Stalker pronounced Donatella Versace too-thin by a whisker, or, better yet, a coke fingernail, saying, "She's lost a lot of weight, wonder what 'diet' she's been on. I think seeing her ass in a bikini in US Weekly may have also had something to do with it." Well it can't have helped. Any guesses when male cellulite will be a cover story focus that sustains conversation throughout the year? We thought not ...

In: The Wowies. We heart World of Wonder, and lament -- terribly -- that they no longer do those awesomely disturbing Michael Alig interviews, The Corsair's only solace since HBO cancelled Oz, but they do give us their year-end Wowies, among which:

"Most retarded performance: Adrien Brody in The Village

"Best Linda Lovelace impression: Chlo� Sevigny in The Brown Bunny

"Lawsuit that's a bit of a stretch: Sharon Stone suing her plastic surgeon who didn't perform a procedure on her

"Cleverest gossip column: Michael Musto's 'La Dolce Musto'"

More here.

Out: 50 Cent Watches. Nothing is cast in stone, but Fitty may want to go with a new name, something more swishy, as a luxury brand named '50 Cent Watches,' well, it just doesn't do it for us. Surely they are bulletproof, though, and that no doubt counts for something (Averted Gaze). According to Fashionweekdaily, "50 Cent apparently has adopted the ever-popular high/low mantra that brought success to Isaac Mizrahi and Karl Lagerfeld by teaming up with Jacob the Jeweler to produce a line of watches that will range from $200 to sky?s the limit."

In: Michael Musto's Felix Awards. How can you not love Musto when he delivers lines like this, "Best Omission (of 2004): Aren't you glad Ray stopped before 'We Are the World'?"

In: Gallo: The Whine. Vincent Gallo gets another vaguely underage star to do sexual things on camera, and Uncle Grambo has it all here.


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